Just another day
by Heliotrope
Summary: Insanity insures when a peaceful day is destroyed when the Seiryuu Seishi attack the Konan palace.


JUST ANOTHER DAY

The day had started off quite normally. The Suzaku Shichi Seishi were all sitting around in a random room of the Konan palace.

Hotohori was staring at his reflection in a mirror, Chiriko was reading from his endless supply of books.

Mitsukake sat there blankly, while Tama-Neko consumed a plate of fish, and Miaka and Tamahome traded names.

Chichiri was contemplating the idea of going SD while not wearing his mask, and Tasuki was just plain drunk.

And the ever wonderful Nuriko was desperately trying to resist the urge to beat someone's head in, preferably a certain werewolf Seishi.

It was at that moment that one of the palace guards came rushing into the room. " Heika!" he cried. " The Seiryuu Seishi are attacking the palace!"

" Yes, I am pretty aren't I?" Hotohori sighed dreamily.

Sweatdrops and mutters of "God, what a narcissist." were heard.

Hotohori finally managed to tare his attention away from the mirror. " Huh? Wha? Seiryuu?"

" Yes! Time to kick some werewolf ass!" Nuriko declared, racing out of the door and trampling the poor guard in the process.

The rest of the Suzaku Seishi followed him, ignoring the guard who lay crumpled on the floor.

" Ouch," he said, before falling unconscious.

* * *

The Seiryuu Shichi Seishi and that annoying little Miko of theirs were standing in the entrance hallway if that's what they call it there of the palace.

" Bwahahahaha!" Nakago suddenly laughed evilly, causing all the other Seishi's, Miko's and ,er, Tama-Neko, to stare at him weirdly. " We're going to take over your palace! Because we're evil, and... stuff. Yeah, that's right!"

" Um, is he feeling OK?" Nuriko asked Amiboshi.

" He's drunk," flute-boy answered.

" Yay!" cheered Tasuki, waving his bottle of sake.

" Shut up Tasuki!" ordered the rest of the Suzaku gang.

Miaka and Tamahome, having got bored by all this, had lapsed into one of the usual conversations.

" Tamahome..."

" Miaka..."

" Tamahome..."

" Miaka..."

To make things even worse, Yui decided to join in as well.

" Tamahome..."

" Tamahome..."

" Miaka..."

This went on for about an hour, in which time Nuriko had got so frustrated that he had ripped out one of the rooms pillars and thrown it at this nearest person. Which happened to be Soi. Good.

Chiriko and Amiboshi had started talking and were soon in the middle of a heated argument over who was the best musician, and decided to have a flute playing contest. The two of them had then been throw out the front door of the palace, because none of the others wanted to end up with their heads imploding.

The rest of the Seishi had began a game of spin the bottle, using Tasuki's sake bottle, much to his distress.

Saddened over the loss of his alcohol, the still drunken bandit stumbled over to Tomo, and clutched onto his arm.

Tomo looked at him nervously. " Er, what?"

" You're really pretty," slurred Tasuki. " You wanna get aquatinted with my fan? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, poke, pok—"

Tomo shriek of alarm cut him off mid-ramble and he was slapped in the face. " You uncultured dog!"

Ashitare looked rather offended, and whined sadly.

Tomo rolled his eyes. " No, Ashitare, I didn't mean you."

Ashitare sat down on all fours and barked happily, causing Nuriko's eye to twitch. One too many 'Nuriko special's' for him, me thinks.

Nakago burst out laughing again, so Suboshi gagged him with his bandanna. Much to everyone's relief.

Mitsukake continued to stare blankly at the wall, oblivious to everything that was going on.

" Come on Nuriko, it's your go, no da!" said Chichiri.

Nuriko span the bottle, and his eyes widened in horror when he saw who it had landed on. " What?! No way am I gonna kiss that demonic little bastard!"

" Hey, Okama, I do have a name!" snapped Miboshi.

" Yeah, the psychotic bitch!"

" I thought that was Suboshi's name?" Hotohori said innocently.

" Oi! You wanna get a taste of my Meteor balls?!" growled Suboshi, yo-yo's spinning dangerously.

" Isn't Meteor balls the dubbed name, No da?" asked Chichiri.

" Probably, but the author can't remember how to spell the Japanese name," explained Suboshi.

" Oooh," oooh'ed everybody else.

A sudden roar of anger from Yui caught everyone's attention.

" His mine, dumpling head!" snarled Yui.

" No, he's mine!" Miaka yelled back. " And don't call me that, I'm not Sailor Moon!"

" I know, you're Sailor ChibiMoon! That's even worse!"

" Up yours!"

The two Miko's had each grabbed one of Tamahome's arms, and were now pulling him back and forth.

" Now, now, girls, there's enough of me to go around," Tamahome said nervously.

Miaka was about to argue back, but froze, dropping Tamahome's arm. " Hey," she began, sniffing the air frantically. " Is that…? It is! … FOOOOOOOOD!!"

Miaka leapt to her feet and charged out of the palace door, the other Seishi leaping out of the way to avoid getting trampled.

Well, all except Soi that is, who still lay buried under the pillar that Nuriko had thrown at her. How upsetting…

Nakago then bit through his gag, and not really to anyone's surprise, took Miaka's place in the 'Lets all say Tamahome's name over and over" conversation.

" Tamahome…"

" Tamahome…"

" Nakago?! "

It was at that point that Miboshi and Ashitare both collapsed from heart failure. Nobody cared, except for Nuriko, who, disappointed that he hadn't killed wolfboy himself, went along and snapped Ashitare's neck again, just for the hell of it.

" There," said a very satisfied Nuriko, dusting off his hands. " He won't be getting up anytime soon."

" But he was already dead," Tamahome pointed out, trying to ignore just where Nakago's hand was.

" Shut up!"

Tomo, who was rather upset himself about where Nakago's hand was, turned sadly back to the game. " Hotohori-san, truth or dare?"

" I thought we were playing spin the bottle?"

" Just answer the damm question!"

" OK, OK, keep your face on," said Hotohori. " Oh, no offence, Chichiri-san."

" Da?" the confused monk asked. He hadn't really been paying attention, and had been fiddling absently with his Kasa.

" Anyway," said Tomo. " Back to the question. Hotohori-san?"

" Er, truth," answered the pretty, mirror obsessed Emperor. I love him, I really do, he's just very easy to make fun of.

" Just how do you manage to sparkle anyway?" Tomo asked.

" Oh, I have bags of the stuff," said Hotohori said, pulling out a bag from inside his robe. " It's really just sparkly powder."

He proceeded to throw handfuls of the stuff around, covering everyone in the room with it.

" Ow! That crap went in my eye!" yelled Suboshi, rubbing frantically at his eyes, but only managed to rub more of it into them.

Chichiri started sneezing wildly, while Tomo admired his new "Sparklefied" hair, Tasuki had passed out ages ago from his continuous drinking, and Nuriko was content to sit there drooling over the sparkly Hotohori.

" SHOUKAAAA!!!!" Mitsukake suddenly screamed rather wildly, scaring the hell out of everyone.

* * *

Meanwhile, outside in the palace gardens, Chiriko and Amiboshi had been having a sword fight with their flutes. Despite the fact that Chiriko doesn't have a flute, he has a leaf whistle… eh, call it a plot hole.

… Actually, let's just start this whole bit again.

Chiriko and Amiboshi had been beating each other's heads in with some random tree branches, when Miaka had gone galloping past them, drooling like rabid dog and screaming about food.

The two Seishi paused and started after the crazed Miko for a few moments, before going back to their fight.

Chiriko then let loose his secret weapon; hardback book to the groin.

Amiboshi's high pitched shriek was heard for miles.

* * *

Out in the streets of the wonderful, happiness filled capital of Konan, kids played tag, and parents shopped at the quaint little market stalls.

And the poor shop keeping hadn't seen the hungry Miko coming.

" FOOD!!"

" AAAAHHHH!!"

* * *

" Did you hear that?" asked Tamahome.

" No, now spin the damm pointer!" yelled Tasuki, who had regained consciousness and was feeling rather hung over.

" I would if these two idiots would let go of my arms!" Tamahome yelled back angrily. " Nakago, stop humping my leg! You too Yui. And get your mouth off my neck, what are you, a vampire?!"

" Hehe, I'm a vampire," giggled Mitsukake, taking a sip from his tenth 'Nuriko Special' and Tama-Neko mewed worriedly.

Suboshi rolled his eyes and span the pointer himself. " Right hand green!"

The three unlucky Seishi who had been forced onto the Twister mat, Tasuki, Nuriko and Hotohori, attempted to each reach a green circle without collapsing in a heap.

Tomo had declined from playing the game, because according to him it was just a cheap way to cop a feel. " And besides, Nakago-sama isn't even playing," he had said. So he was now sitting on the floor, painting his nails, and Chichiri, like Mitsukake, had discovered the joy of the 'Nuriko Special' and was now busy singing ancient Chinese love songs in an off-key tone.

Suboshi had collapsed after the first go, so he had been deemed the new 'pointer spinner' since Tamahome, Yui and Nakago were 'busy' Mitsukake was too drunk/high and Tama-Neko was a cat, so even though he can play Charades, he's crap at Twister.

" Where did we get a Twister game from anyway?" asked Tamahome. " And how the hell do we know what Twister is?"

" Hmm, plot hole?" suggested Tomo absently, moving onto his other hand.

With a shrug, Suboshi span the pointer again. " Left foot yellow."

" Oh Shit!" cursed Tasuki, as he saw how far away the nearest yellow circle was.

" Now, now, Tasuki, there's not need for that," said Hotohori. "This is a sacred place. FUCK!" Nuriko's foot had 'accidentally' slipped, and he had fallen over, pulling Hotohori down on top of him.

Sadly, what Nuriko had fallen onto happened to be Tasuki, making him tumble over too. Causing much cursing and reprimands, from Tasuki and Hotohori respectively.

" Stupid Okama, why'd you have to do that for?!" Tasuki screamed, once he'd managed to shove the other two off of him.

" I didn't do it on purpose," Nuriko said innocently.

" Yeah, right!"

And thus the fighting and bitch-slapping started.

Tomo watched on in amusement, while Suboshi began to put the Twister mat away.

Hotohori watched the fight with wide eyes. " Wow, I'm glad Houki isn't here to see this. Where is she anyway?"

" I think the author shot her, no da," answered a giggling Chichiri, who was trying to grab the Twister mat out of Suboshi's hands, claiming it to be his new 'super cool mat of love'

" Oh, OK," said Hotohori, not seeming at all bothered that Nuriko's female clone was now dead.

The palace doors flew open and Miaka came striding in, dragging a large cart of food behind her.

" Miaka, where did you get that?" Tamahome asked suspiciously.

" A shop keeper gave it to me," said Miaka. " Well, after I 'persuaded' him a little."

Nobody dared to ask how.

" You!" Mitsukake yelled, and everyone jumped. " It was you wasn't it?!" he pointed an accusing finger at Miaka.

" What?" she asked dumbly.

" You were the one who ate my wife, and crashed Mr. Crystal Penguin's car!"

" … What?"

" Oh, ignore him, " said Nuriko, latching onto a rather nervous Hotohori's arm. " He's drugged up and liquored up. In that order."

" I am Danger Mouse!"

" Shut up, Mitsukake!"

" Yes, yes, that's right, no da," nodded Chichiri. " Let's all shut up and sing, no da!"

Before Chichiri could begin to sing another drunken song, Chiriko came in, leading a limping and still whimpering Amiboshi.

" I'm sorry, Amiboshi-san," Chiriko said apologetically. " I didn't mean to hit you so hard."

" Then why did you do it five times?!"

" Er, maybe I got lost in the moment?" offered Chiriko.

" I think I lost something in the moment…"

Suboshi looked over at his brother. " Amiboshi-kun!" he said in alarm. " What happened to you?"

" Chiriko mortally injured my favourite part of my body."

Suboshi winced in sympathy.

" Nakago-sama," Amiboshi began, after collapsing quite painfully to the floor. " Weren't we supposed to be here to take over the palace?"

Nakago shrugged and continued nuzzling Tamahome's shoulder.

Miaka was stuffing her face with the food she had been 'given' while Nuriko glomped Hotohori's arm, and started off on a long speech about Hotohori's heavenly beauty. Hotohori agreed with him.

Tamahome had given up struggling and just sat there defeated, as Nakago and Yui continued to feel him up.

Chiriko had run off to find an ice pack for poor Amiboshi, while Suboshi tried to comfort his brother, and Tasuki opened yet another bottle of sake.

Speaking of drunks, Chichiri and Mitsukake had started an argument over what was the better show "Danger Mouse" or "Super Ted"

" Of course Danger Mouse is better!" Mitsukake screamed in a rather high voice, which is just plain disturbing. " He's got a British accent and Penfold for a side kick!"

" Oh, Penfold's an ass, no da!" Chichiri argued back. " Super Ted's got Spotty Man and Texas Pete in it for Suzaku's sake, no da!"

Chiriko, who had return with an ice back don't ask where he found it and added his own opinion on the discussion; declaring "Tales from the Riverbank" to be the greatest show , because of the variety of cute little real-life rodents, and that Hammy the Hamster was the best character ever.

Chichiri and Mitsukake just looked at him as if he was insane.

And so on that note, our story ends.

Bye-bye!


End file.
